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Talking to your child about their day
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Does this sound familiar???
Parent: "How was your day?"
Child: "Good."
Parent: "What did you do today?"
Child: "Nothing."
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Are you looking for more than one-word answers from your child/ren about their school day? Below are seven ways to
find out what they're really up to...
 Ask Specific
Questions.
Asking questions that only require a one-word answer will often times produce just that. You can encourage
your child to give something more by asking "situation-specific" questions, such as:
~ "What did you do in math today?"
~ "Who did you play with on the playground?"
~ "Tell me the best story your teacher read today."
 Start a "Names I Know"
list.
Have your child start a list at the beginning of the school year called "Names I Know" or "My Class." Keep it
on the refrigerator. Ask specific questions about the kids on the list. Young children can have trouble keeping
track of names, and your child might want to talk to you about someone whose name they can't remember.
Keeping an on-going list serves as a memory jogger for your child and a conversation starter for you.
Give your child time to
unwind.
Think about your own after-work needs. Just like you, kids need time to decompress after a long day at school.
Try not to jump right in with questions about school the moment your kids are dismissed. Give your child time
to get home, unwind, and sit with a snack. You might even want to wait until dinner; that just might be the
amount of transition time they need.
Hone your child's conversation
skills.
Helping your child practice the art of conversation will serve them well. Show them that a good conversation
begins with eye contact, appropriate body language, and a warm greeting. Conversations are give and take; listen
ing is just as important as sharing!
Share some of your
day.
By sharing how your day went, you're modeling for your child the kind of information that you'd like to hear
from them: "This is what I did today that I felt really good about; This is what I did today that was a little
bit hard, but I did it anyway." These statements naturally lead to questions that you can ask your child:
"What was one thing that you did today that was hard (or fun) for you?"
Play a conversation
game.
Children at this age have rich imaginations and love stories. Try turning school conversations into stories.
Begin by saying, "Today, I went to school and sat down right next to _________." Let your child fill in the
blank. "First, we opened up our backpacks and I took out my folder and looked inside and saw ______________."
Continue until you get to the end of the day, or until you're satisfied that you've heard more than your child
would normally volunteer.
Get the facts
straight.
From time to time you'll hear information that may concern you about your child's day at school.
Don't ponder the details -- ask the teacher! It could be that you and your child's teacher is using different
terminology, and your child is confused by your questions. On the other hand, if your child complains about
being teased or picked on, repeats a complaint with regularity, or complains of frequent trips to the nurse,
there may be a problem; Asking the teacher is the best way to find out.
~ Brought to you by the American School Counselor Association.
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